Exhausted but still writing: the happy fatigue of an up-at-dawn blogger


GUEST BLOG BY LORA ROSSI, http://www.thehugginghome.com

OK, I admit it. I am exhausted. I am tired. I am overwhelmed. In short, I need to take more of my own advice.

I started this blog as a fun little hobby because I felt I had a lot to say and I tend to express myself best through the written word. Simple, I thought. And it is simple. But it has now taken on a life of its own. Or perhaps more accurately, I have breathed life into it and my readers have breathed life into it and now it has become something that people – friends, family and strangers – actually follow. Cool!

But I have always been somewhat of a perfectionist. A little anal retentive, if I may. If I do something, I like to do it to the best of my ability and when I see momentum I don’t want it to let up. I don’t want to let anyone down. I don’t want to let myself down.

So I push. I push and I market and I social media like a madwoman sometimes.

Because I have discovered that this writing thing…this blogging thing…this connecting with others thing…well…I love it. I think I have found my calling in life – besides being a mother. That – I know – has always been a calling. And Lord knows I answered that call people!

But that is really all part of what I am oh so un-eloquently (is that even a word??) trying to say here. My callings intertwine. Being a mother and reaching other people – especially moms – through my writing. Writing about motherhood. About how wonderful and frustrating and magical and difficult it is all at the same time.

But as I sit here writing, it is just after 7:00am, my baby boy is playing happily in his crib and my other two sons are still sleeping. I got out of bed when my husband rose for work because I wanted to write. I needed to write. I actually need to sleep…but I felt I needed to write more. And let me tell you peeps, anything that gets me up in the morning like that…well…I must either be passionate about it, have no choice about it, or be getting paid for it.

These days, what gets me out of bed is my kids and my writing. Pure love and passion. I do get paid for some of my writing, and it is my goal to get to the point where this is happening more…but for now, I will just keep wagon-training.

Ahhhhh…but I digress. I am famous for that. Maybe if I stop getting so off track people would pay me more for my writing.)

So, yeah, I am exhausted. So much so that I had to look up “exhausted” because I can’t remember how to spell it. Actually, for someone who loves to write so much, I can’t spell to save my life. Honestly, I am better at math. And I know I have not caught all the little mistakes here on my blog and that bugs me. It bugs my parents too because they like to point out typos. If my mom could get in and fix my typos she would.

My parents are pillars of support. They are not telling me to be reasonable. They are not telling me to stop this writing silliness and go back to my nice comfortable life as an Association Executive making a very decent, reliable salary. No. They are actually telling me they have never seen me so happy. Too bad I may have to go back. At least for a while. We will see how that unfolds. But my parents are telling me to follow my heart. They always have and they always will. My parents are awesome.

So Mom…Dad… I konw tihs is sepelld wonrg, but you can raed it awynays, rirhgt? Isn’t it cool how out brain works? How, as long as the first and last letters are in the proper place, the rest of them can be jumbled up and out brains can still read the words?

I guess that is kind of related to what I am saying. Things in my life seem jumbled up. So much is going on. I need to take better care of myself. But, all this extra “work” I am doing..my writing, promoting my writing…it does not feel like work much of the time. It somehow makes me feel happy. Overwhelmed, but in a good way, if that makes sense.

But I do need to be careful to remain balanced. I sometimes get so wrapped up in being a mom and this writing thing that things like eating right, getting enough exercise, getting enough sleep…they fall by the wayside a bit and I have to watch it.

But I continue on, riding the wave, sometimes falling, always getting back up. Hugging my kids tight, playing my keyboard like a piano, sharing my heart with whoever wants a little piece.

And now, time for breakfast.

Lora Rossi is a writer, artist and blogger based in Canada. She specialises in parenting, family, kids and authentic living. Lora describes herself as “a rule breaker, a cookie baker, a lawn raker, an earth quaker, a morning waker, an ass shaker, a for heaven saker, a home maker and most of all a hug taker”.

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