Castration, tax dodgers, flowers & Assange – strange search terms that have brought people to my website


If they're looking for info on these, they've come to the wrong website! Pic by me.

It’s fascinating to look behind the scenes at a website to view the search terms that have brought people to visit.

Of those visitors to my site that were the result of a search engine search, the single biggest number came via searches for the name of the person who produced the vulgar T shirts I blogged about on a couple of occasions. That topic also provoked the largest single number of comments on any blog posts I’ve done, not all of them pleasant.

The second single biggest number of hits has come, not surprisingly, from searches for F Words – though I suspect some of these visitors may have been looking for something rather different!

The third biggest number of visits resulted from searches on my name. Again, some may have been hoping for something else – other Sue Fentons are available, so many, in fact, that I did a blog on the subject. https://fwords.co.uk/2011/06/23/me-myself-and-i-%E2%80%93-and-the-other-ones-%E2%80%93-how-i-found-i-wasn%E2%80%99t-unique/

A huge variety of search terms have brought other visitors. Some of the terms are really rather bizarre. I blame myself for this – it’s all because of my tendency to chunter on about random topics instead of sticking to the initial purpose of my blog, which was to promote my skills and knowledge as a freelance journalist. It’s funny – you start off with a policy of earnestly discussing missing apostrophes and bad spelling and before you know it, you’re rambling on with tongue in cheek about bacon sandwiches, corporate tax dodging and fantasy dog breeding. That’s the beauty of blogging, I suppose – it brings out the true inner writer – but of course Google and the other search engines are always lurking about taking notes and suggesting you as a source of fascinating information on subjects that (in my case) include: 

Bagology

American death penalty

Greek flowers

Assange

Coastal pathway

Ode to a Nightingale translated into Arabic

Some are really rather bizarre, since I don’t remember having actually written anything on these specific topics – still, Google appears to think I’m an authority:

Lapland immigration strategy

Hairy arms

William Hague fascist

Chihuahua fights

Indecent behaviour within the British Army

Naked lady jumping into water

Ugly gorillas

Topman tax dodge is quite a favourite term – I show up well on this one due to a couple of posts I did on the subject a while back.

Another favourite one is piglet castration and I wasn’t even responsible for this one – it was a guest blog written by a college friend who breeds pigs. Another guest blog, by an journalists’ union official, got me hits from people searching on sacked for Twitter comments and similar phrases.

Other phrases that have brought visitors here include:

Crap press releases

Dogging

Obnoxious responses to Facebook misspellings

Larry the prime minister’s cat

Jane Asher

Commas

Daddy long legs porn

Space Hijackers

Italian tableware

Swearing

Arms trade hoax

Circumcision

Troy David

London protest

Bad English.

Of course, it’s even nicer to be found through searches that are actually relevant to my work as a journalist. One visitor today found me after searching “I want to find a freelance journalist in Surrey”. They (or someone) even looked at my online CV, details of qualifications and clients and fees. My curiosity is now piqued – who are they, and did they find what they were looking for, or did my chunterings on about bacon and Lapland send them scurrying off to get the Yellow Pages?

5 thoughts on “Castration, tax dodgers, flowers & Assange – strange search terms that have brought people to my website

  1. nigelld says:

    Hi Sue
    I don’t think I’ve been found much by any search terms, I don’t know where to look to find out. However if anyone searched on “Nigel Lewis-Davidson” including the speech marks I am the only result in 108 finds, also the only one found in the UK. So I am unique if only because of my name.
    Nice article and amazing/worrying/nice to know you turn up in these searches.
    Nigel
    😉

  2. Sue Fenton says:

    Actually, Nigel, you show up anyway, even without the speech marks and without the hyphen. Going double-barrelled was a great idea from that perspective. Double-barrelled sounds posh too! I want an unusual name!
    If you go to Site Stats from the dashboard you’ll see the search terms from which people have clicked on your site.

    1. nigelld says:

      Thanks Sue everything’s pretty normal except ‘are trains running from edinburgh?’ which was a search I did when my friends daughter was stuck up in the city. Don’t know why it got in there though.
      Posh has always been a problem since I got married. People assume because I live in the posh end of the county and have a double barreled name I must be some kind of Hooray Henry, when in fact I grew up in the homes and on estates; they learned quickly I was in fact quite the opposite 😉

  3. malvikajaswal says:

    Hey! thanks for visiting my blog. I spent a long time yesterday thinking of leaving a comment here, but really what can one say? I liked the search for’ naked lady jumping into water’ and can’t help wondering how you managed to incorporate that in an essay. 😉

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