25 Things to Do in a Dull Town at Lunchtime #3: visit the library (and learn something new)


I had great ideas of using my trip to Dultown’s library to learn how to prune a grape vine, or throw a vegan dinner party, or read the tea leaves, or something useful like that, but in the event I had only 30 minutes to devote to number 3 on my list of 25 things to do, due to pressure of work. So I had time to do little more than find some intriguing finger exercises for the guitar. I would have borrowed the book only I realised I needed to become a member of the London library system first and didn’t have any ID on me to do so. In any case, I’ve already got three books at home about how to play the guitar and I’ve not been arsed to read any of those, so I would probably have taken home Finger Aerobics for the Guitar Player or whatever it was called, left it in the growing pile of Useful Paperwork that litters the kitchen, forgotten to take it back and got a whopping fine for late return.

There's plenty of old-fashioned knuckle-dragging still going on in Dulltown. Pic credit: http://www.morguefile.com

I did glean one interesting fact though. Browsing the Local History section I discovered that Dulltown has been in existence since the Old Stone Age, about 100,000 years ago. I believe it wasn’t called Dulltown back then; If they did have a word for “dull” in those days it probably didn’t have the negative connotations it does today – in fact, dullness was probably a state to be desired, what with the everyday dangers from rampaging mammoths and velociraptors and things.

Apparently there is plenty of evidence in the Dulltown area of Neolithic field boundaries and Stone Age tools – and probably dinosaurs and stuff, for all I know – for those who care to look for it. That might explain why the locals look so old and weary and are so old-fashioned in their dress. I’m half hoping to spot one or two in their loin cloths, grunting “uggg” as they perambulate down the high street in search of elk and woolly mammoth.

A Dulltown resident on his way to get his morning pint of beer. Pic credit: F Words

Come to think of it, a keen observer of the Dulltown social scene can already spot the odd grunting knuckle-dragger making his way into the Wetherspoon’s in search of a £2.30 pint of bitter at 11am or of his female counterpart seeking out a nice piece of pre-loved nightwear in the charity shops.

More on that subject in my next post, from a guest blogger I have lined up; she knows Dulltown rather better than I do and has become quite fascinated by the locals’ liking for second-hand intimate garments as seen in the window displays of the charity shops.

7 thoughts on “25 Things to Do in a Dull Town at Lunchtime #3: visit the library (and learn something new)

  1. Sue Fenton says:

    You’d have to pretend your lovely new panties used to belong to Demi Moore or someone. That wouldn’t work if you’d seen the sweaty, bedraggled, dough-faced, lard-arsed old bird who actually dropped them off at the shop. That would be quite hard to cope with. You’d have to bear in mind the old saying “You never understand someone until you’ve walked a mile in their panties”. Oops, no, that’s “shoes”, isn’t it.

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